After work that day, I decided to go home and brood over my life. I was absent all the way home.
Got home to meet a ranting brother, yapping about his bike, which I payed less concern. I went straight to my room, sagged on my bed, played a song by Yanny, ‘Nightingale’ to cool my head. Just then, a text rang on my phone, it was my madam. “Come to Yorks hotel now! And call me”, she ordered.
“What is the meaning of this madness?”, I thought to myself. I threw the phone a little distance from me. Then I tried to catch a little nap but mom disrupted it with her call for dinner.
Dinner was with the usual family union, all eating from same plate. That evening, we had eba and okra soup. My family is made up of my mom who is a petty trader. She sells at the shop attached to the front of our building, that shop helped me a lot during my dry days (you know what I mean).
Dad lives in Cameroon where he struggles with his degenerating trade. He usually visits twice, sometimes thrice every year, but hasn’t missed an Xmas. I have three younger siblings, all boys. They are still in the tertiary institution but are currently home for some weeks due to strike. Then two elder ones. My immediate elder brother whose bike I took is an engineer by credentials but works with a hotel as receptionist.
Meanwhile, his immediate elder one, our first daughter, is married to a very stingy but rich importer. He wouldn’t allow her use her accounting degree (no be curse oh, na the situation of the country). Now you see why I need this job?
Every one talked about anything of little relevance. Meanwhile, I ate in silence, smiling every time they gestured in my direction. No one noticed anyone’s mood because everyone has his or her own headache to deal with.
Few minutes after meal, I sat back and was watching a movie with my younger siblings. They were overly engrossed that they chuckled and shouted every time something of interest is been displayed. Suddenly, my phone rang. It was Madam. “what does she want?”, I wondered. It was past 9pm according to my wrist watch. Then, the phone stopped ringing. Few seconds after, a text message came into my phone. “If you value your job, respond asap”.
I was bewildered. While I was still pondering, the call came through again. This time I had to pick up, so, I stood up and left my excited bros who were lost in their movie. I went into the toilet for privacy.
“Hello ma…”, came my tremulous voice. “why are you not answering my calls you this stupid boy?”, her voice echoed in my ear. I had to pull the phone away so as not to lose my eardrum. “Are you crazy? How dare you keep me waiting? Who do you think you are? If I wait any further for you, I will deal with you!”, she bellowed. My heart raced round the clock within a split second.
I thought to myself, “you have suffered. A whole me, the vagina slayer now want to become a fuck boy of a midget? God forbid! I have to turn the table. I must show her that I am not that kind of guy. She has to know that the greatest mistake she made was to allow me fuck her, because I know what I carry. No wonder she’s calling on me again. This is my chance to become rich”, then I responded to her, this time in a soft bedroom tone.
No girl born of a woman has been able to withstand my bedroom voice. I have lost count of ladies who wanted to fuck me just because of my voice.
“I’m very sorry ma, just as I saw your missed call my heart leaped for joy. My dick has refused to be tamed. The episode of yesterday hasn’t left me, it has taken the best of me…”. Before I could finish up, she interrupted abruptly. “save your poetry and come over here right now!”, she ordered as usual.
“that’s the problem ma. Our gate is locked, I can’t go out, moreover bad boys are very rampant by this time of the day”, I responded.
I could feel the disappointment from her silence. And I went on, this time with a little more confidence. “If you had told me earlier, I would have come over from work. But I promise to make it up to you first thing in the morning…”. Before I could finish, she hissed and hung up.
I just played the right card. It’s my turn to smile while she suffers. I gave myself a satisfactory grin and quietly went back to my room. My elder bro was snoring his life out, while spreading all over the bed. I had to nudge him hard to create a space for myself on the bed.
To be continued…