Lagos Yahoo Boy – Episode 3


The rough looking guys inside the cell charged at us as soon as we entered. They were going to attack and dominate us as the custom is in any police cell. I had to rabble rouse the other guys that entered with me. Two of them quickly understood and followed my cue. The others joined and we easily outnumbered the old inmates. They were only six against eleven of us so they gave up the bullying. I further threatened them that they’ll be there much longer as the rest of us will be bailed before nightfall. That was how we took over the cell and liberated ourselves. We all became friends right after until the police came to call Frank who was the youngest among us. His mom was negotiating his bail already.

Meanwhile, the officers have been expecting to hear screams while we get oppressed by the older inmates. They were disappointed when they saw us smiling and chatting. The nasty officer that threatened to shoot my ankle earlier seemed to know what happened inside the cell. He pointed at me and promised to fuck me up. I didn’t budge. All I did was tell him, “If only God wills it”. Meanwhile, I begged Frank to locate the DPO’s office and tell him one of his boys is in the cell. It was a lie. I didn’t even know who the DPO was but I needed to talk to him as the officers on duty were mostly dimwits. I was sure the DPO would have a better understanding. Frank’s bail got finalized and he left with his mom.

It took a while for me to come to terms with the fact that Frank had left. I kept expecting a feedback from him until I lost hope. Then I began to think of who to call but my phone was with the mean Constable Andrew. He would threaten to shoot me again if I dare ask for my phone. I have planned to deal with him my own way but I had to be out first. A fair and chubby man in native attire soon approached the cells. He checked the ladies cell first before returning to the men’s. After looking around for a while, he asked, “does any of you know me?”. One of the old inmates rose up instantly and greeted him, “DPO baba”. that’s how I knew he was the DPO.

The DPO asked the old inmate if he sent anyone to his office earlier. The old inmate quickly raised both hands in the air and replied, “baba, I no reach to send message to you o”. I rose up and said I was the one. “I just need to talk to you sir. It’s quite important”, I said. The DPO observed me for a while. Then he ordered Constable Andrew to bring me to his office. The almost illiterate constable still threatened me as we climbed the stairs to the DPO’s floor. As I pleaded my case with the DPO, constable Andrew kept interrupting with his threats. The DPO then asked him to go bring my phone and laptop.

The DPO was using his phone while the constable went to bring my gadgets. He looked up and asked me, “so you wrote all of these?”. I said “Yes” but then he asked me another question, “who designed your website for you?”. After telling the DPO I do everything about my blog myself alongside web consultancy services, he became more curious. The constable soon came in with my phone. The DPO checked my messages and found several international wire transfer alerts. He was able to spot that they were all from the same advertising company and not fraud victims. However, he was marveled at the figures. “So, you’re another Linda Ikeji in the making, right?”, he finally said. Then he closed my laptop and ordered that I be released.

I thanked Mr DPO and just as I was about to leave his office, he called me back. “Tunde, please come around tomorrow. We should talk. Nothing serious. Just a friendly visit”, he said. “Okay sir”, I responded. Then I began to brainstorm what the visitation would be about. I said goodbye to the guys left in the cell and dropped some money for them before leaving. Constable Andrew looked disappointed as I walked elegantly out of the police station without paying a dime. It was time for me to show the idiot what I’m made of.

To be continued…

This article was written by Tunde Jones.

I am Tunde 'Bebo' Jones from Lagos Nigeria. I love my taxi driving job. I encounter a lot of passengers on a daily basis, mostly females. Some are horny while some are not but I have pledged to fuck as many as are willing. This is my diary and you're always welcome to read.

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